fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

yes maybe i just dont know how to be beautiful. i always deny that i  just want to be an ordinary girl, butt the fact is i'm nor ordinary at all, and i always say i just wanna be usual but actually i wanna be beautiful like other girls. but i still dont know how to be like them, i mean not being like them, but how to put some make ups and fashion and all the girl's things. 

i wanna change my style but i always fail!!! i always have the same look!!! never change!!! never be beautiful even i put make up on my face, even i use lip balm and whatever i just still fail!!!!!!!!!!!

why so many beautiful girls out there, they make me disappear like a wind. they make me invisible. i know sometimes i wanna be invisible, but not in this case and not always. 

26/11/11

Woman is a phase that a girl has grown up to be adult, but me as a female, i don't know am i a girl or woman. have i really grown up or not?
Do i enough to be adult or not? i don't know, i really haven't found out what am i exactly.

I have watched a lot of movies, the stories about life, love, happiness, sadness, everything. i see it, i learn it. And sometimes it influences me. it makes me think i should be like that or like this. 

Last night i watched '500 days of summer' , it's one of my favorite films, and it influences me a lot.

The   thought and life, the massage. 

"She doesn't want any commitment and any serious thing in her relationship". It's a wonderful thought i think. I still don't understand why so many people  live in a commitment, even they know it's hard to do and also suffering, but they still want it. i do really don't understand. 

"Do everything that we wanna do  as long as we happy". Even everyone will say that it's egoist or what, but who wants to do something that they don't wanna do? Absolutely no one. 

"Everything can change  so fast and unexpected". Yeah, people always do that, people always change, and hard to understand them. 

I do change, i do a lot of change. is it a big deal? of course not, who cares. Me is me, and it doesn't matter if i change or not. I do whatever i wanna do, i run, laugh, cry, and whatever to express my feeling.
And this is my life, who wants to come in they must do my rules.

You can think whatever about me, judge me, mad at me, whatever! but one thing, just one thing you must know, please appreciate me...

20/11/11

raining and alone

22:24

by ndami

yeah,, that's me. my giraffe is me.. 

i'm stress, i'm totally alone, i really don't have anyone

19/11/11

a pair of apples 

15:23

by ndami

a pair of my old converse

15:25

by ndami

17/11/11

i stay 5 meters away from you

11:59

by ndami

16/11/11

the paper just looks like gold

12:18

by ndami

the ball mane from rubbers, thanks for the gift man

12:23

by ndami

electric pole

12:26

by ndami

look up to the sky and see...

12:30

by ndami

English day

tonight i have already attended English day event. it's held for celebrate the anniversary of English department of UGM (University of Gadjah Mada).
but unfortunately i came by my self. T______T
actually i invited by my friend, Riris, but she's  a committee of this event, so she can't join me to watch the shows.
yeah it doesn't matter,, let me show you all the performances of this event.....
the opening perform is Gamelan,,, it's a must!!! Gamelan is arrangement music from java, it's really famous in all around the world, and they played those musical instruments nicely... and this's the pic^^

the second perform is 'Poetry Recital', the title is "HEAVEN". it's the most favorite perform in that night for me. let me tell you the story goes...
it's a story about a girl who miss her father that passed away. she really want to see her father, so she prays to the God that she wants to see her father event just in her dream.
then she falls asleep and start to dreaming, but in her dream she meets the angels instead of her father...

the angels tell her that she's in heaven now, then the angels teach her a dance,,,
she walks...

flies...

and twist...

soooooooo beautiful.......
at the end she wakes up and realize that it's just a dream.... beautiful dream... an "HEAVEN".
what a wonderful perform... i love this one,, the angels, the violin, the back sound, the poem, those are perfect combination!
the third is a traditional dance, but i forgot what it was. haha,, yeah i don't really exited at this perform and i don't have the pic too, sorry. :p

the the next perform is singing, i called it 'Duet', a girl is singing and the other one is playing piano,,,

i like the girl who's playing piano,, she's wearing a beautiful wedding dress.. 

then the next is 'SAMAN DANCE', it's a traditional dance from Aceh. they're singing while dancing. and it's an energetic perform, i like the song^^

they're so stunning...
the last and main perform is "KECAK DANCE", an traditional dance from Bali. i think it's very famous dance not only in Indonesia but in all around the world! it's from Bali man!!! who don't know Bali?? it's more famous than Indonesia i guess!!! haha

end the event's END......

over all, i like and enjoy all the performances that they presented. it's nice...^^
thanks to Riris for the invitation.
i hope next year i can came again... ^^